How to Fully Relax During a Massage: A Guide to Letting Go

Getting a massage should feel like a reset — a moment where your mind slows down, your muscles soften, and your stress melts away. But for many people, actually relaxing during a massage is harder than they expect. Thoughts are racing, the body feels tense, and it can take half the session to finally settle in.

If you’ve ever struggled to unwind on the table, you’re not alone. Here’s how to step into your session with ease, tune into your body, and get the most out of every minute.

1. Start With Slow, Deep Breathing

As soon as you lie down, take three slow breaths:

• Inhale through the nose for four counts

• Hold gently

• Exhale through the mouth for six counts

This signals your nervous system to shift out of “go, go, go” mode and into rest-and-relax mode.Breathing is your quickest gateway into calm.

2. Let Your Provider Know What You Need

Relaxation improves instantly when you feel safe, supported, and understood. Before the massage begins, share simple preferences:

• Pressure level (light, medium, firm)

• Areas you want more focus

• Areas to avoid

• Whether you prefer silence or conversation

The more comfortable you feel, the more your body can release tension.

3. Allow Your Body to Sink Into the Table

Many people unconsciously hold their bodies up — lifting their head slightly, tightening their glutes, or bracing their shoulders. Try to mentally “drop” into the table. Imagine your muscles melting downward.

A relaxed client allows the therapist to work more effectively with less resistance.

4. Don’t Try to Control the Massage

You don’t need to anticipate the next stroke, “help” by lifting your leg, or tighten muscles to prepare.Let the therapist do the positioning and movement.

Your only job: receive.

5. Keep Your Thoughts Light and Simple

If your mind races during a massage, try these grounding anchors:

• Focus on your breath

• Notice the warmth of the sheets

• Follow the rhythm of each stroke

• Pick a word like “calm” or “release” to repeat silently

If your mind wanders back to stress or to-do lists, just guide it back gently — no judgment needed.

6. Loosen Your Jaw and Unclench Your Hands

Surprisingly, many people tense their face, fists, or toes during a massage.Relax in layers:

• Drop your shoulders

• Unclench your jaw

• Soften your eyebrows

• Release your hands

• Let your feet fall open naturally

Your whole body follows when the small muscles let go.

7. Don’t Hold Your Breath When Pressure Increases

When a deeper area is being worked, people tend to freeze and tighten.Instead, breathe through it.Long exhales help pain or discomfort dissolve and allow the muscles to open safely.

8. Communicate Before You Get Uncomfortable

Relaxation disappears when you’re “tolerating” something too intense. Speak up if:

• Pressure is too deep

• You feel ticklish

• Something pinches

• Your position is uncomfortable

The session is for you, and adjustments help you relax fully.

9. Release the Need to Rush or “Get It All Done”

You don’t have to think about time or whether certain areas have been covered. Let your therapist guide the flow. Trusting the process is part of relaxing.

10. Stay Present After the Massage Ends

Take 10–20 seconds before standing up. Allow your body to absorb the relaxation.Drink water slowly.Stretch lightly.Give your system a soft transition back into activity.

Relaxation is a practice — and every massage is a chance to go deeper into your own calm. With the right breath, communication, and mindset, your session becomes more than just bodywork… it becomes true restoration.

Your therapist handles the technique. Your only responsibility is to surrender, breathe, and let your body be cared for.